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August 12, 2010

Three out of four: The Little Chinese Man's reign of terror continues

For the third time in four days I encountered The Little Chinese Man on my way home from work today. Now I know what you're thinking- everyday he leaves work at a certain time and walks home or where ever he's going, and you, John Marcher, do the same thing and it's inevitable your paths cross and since you obviously are attracted to him you notice him alone among the thousands of people you pass on the street every day.

No, that's incorrect. Today, at precisely 5:28 PM I saw him from across the street on the northwest corner of Taylor and Post. Yesterday, I saw him at almost the exact same time at the corner of Hyde and O'Farrell. On Monday, at around 6:30 PM I saw him again at Hyde and O'Farrell. If you look on a map you can only reach the conclusion which has been all too obvious to me for years now: The Little Chinese Man is a terrorist who can appear anywhere and at anytime. He is not of this Earth.

There is no photo of him today. I was so shocked I couldn't find the right button on my phone and I never got a shot off as he disappeared into a crowd of tourist on the crowded sidewalk. I think he's on to me though, as he looked over his shoulder directly at me once he was across the street. It was like being spotted by the Alien Mother who disappears into the dark void once she's spotted her prey, waiting to attack from an unseen space. I am afraid- and out of bourbon.

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