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August 11, 2010

The Little Chinese Man walks by my home, spreading his terror!

I wasn't even coming home from work today when The Little Chinese Man intruded into my life for the second time this week and it's only Wednesday. Returning from a doctor's visit in Pacific Heights, I exited the California 1 and made my way down Polk St., taking pictures of the vacant businesses which were intended to be the subject of this post (I'm too traumatized at the moment to even think about that). Almost home, I waited for the light at Hyde and O'Farrell- the site of our encounter on Monday.


Before you think I interrupted his daily early evening routine, know this-today he approached from the South, whereas on Monday he was heading toward me from the West. This is an important point, as it proves many things, not least of which is the fact that the LCM is really just fucking with me at this point because I am never, ever at the North-East corner of Hyde and O'Farrell at 5:20. Ever. Why was he there? Simply to torment me, of course. Because he's an agent of Satan.

I saw him approaching as I stood across the street. I reached into my jacket for my phone, thinking he was going to walk right by me and if I could act quickly enough I would get the long sought-after full-frontal portrait of this horrible, stalking monster, but then he suddenly veered to his right. Yes, right toward where I live. I broke out in a cold sweat and my doctor's admonishments to take better care of myself flooded my mind like Katrina, bringing with it spectres of death and decay. Dread overtook me, but I persevered, knowing no one would believe the horror if I didn't document it.

In front of my building, something drew his attention, or he decided to mock me by offering up his profile, which I failed to capture, though I was moving as fast as my horribly decrepit state would permit (hence the visit to the doctor). I expected him to turn around and scream at me, like Donald Sutherland in the remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"- a film that takes place in this very City. Think about that for a moment and weigh the implications. You should be afraid. For me at least. Please?

There he goes- past my humble abode, casting his filthy, evil shadow over my doorstep, leaving who-knows-what kind of evil lurking for me at every ingress and egress of my home. It's terrifying. It's horrific. What can be done?
 Help me.
Please.

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