The Yodeling Dominatrix

The first time I saw her, I thought she would be perfect as Maria von Trapp in a Russ Meyer remake of The Sound of Music. Sure, she caught my eye- with that figure and those legs in that get-up, how could she not? True, she was funny, but there are lots of funny women, though I can't think of one who looks quite so good. She wore her hair in pigtails- something I'll admit having a fetish for, but even that small, delectable detail, which under normal circumstances would have caused me to lock my gaze on her like bear trap snapping shut, couldn't gain my full attention. She was a sexy red clown competing with a table full of food and booze, people chatting away and a circus swirling around her. 

But it's true what they say- that clothes make the woman, because the second time I saw her (I have no idea how much time had elapsed- an hour? two? twenty minutes?) she strode to the center of the floor, all 6'10" of her, in a pleated, skin-tight, black pleather dress. The front was cut low, removed actually, the better to expose a blood-red, patent-leather bra. It was like my brain split in half- everything stopped, yet I was aware of of every single sensation, like I had plunged underwater. I heard the distinct crack of a whip- a well-made one, signaling a baptism was about to start.

The familiar chords of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" started up somewhere from the stage, the drums kicked in, she took over the room, strutting in time to the beat. A remarkably tall siren beckoning from the deepest recesses of my repressed fantasies, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She sang with a German accent, which only made it all the more decadent and delicious- Marlene Dietrich on a "one-way ride." Then, where the chorus was supposed to be, she let out a tremendous "Yodel-ay-hee-huuuuu!" and I think the audience went a little nuts. I'm not certain, because my brain split into quarters at that moment.

The Yodeling Dominatrix had arrived and proceeded to turn the audience of Teatro ZinZanni into her slaves.

I had to meet her.

After the show we were introduced. She immediately held me in the palm of her hand and within minutes (moments, actually) at her feet. I dared to touch the eight-inch heels without her permission. She bent me over and held her crop aloft- a warning to behave. I succumbed. You would have, too.

Two weeks later we had our first rendezvous at one of my usual haunts. She had arrived before me, so the hostess led me to her. It wasn't so much that she sat in the booth, but was holding court waiting for a supplicant- at least that's how I felt. Everything she wore was skin-tight- including alligator boots which climbed to her knees. I thought the encounter would last an hour, maybe one and a half at the most. Seven hours later I returned to my apartment, spent, tired, and in a daze. That's what happens when one spends time in the company of Manuela Horn.

We ate. We drank. We drank more than we ate. We were told we had to leave.

Our next stop was for some real food, though more beverages were brought- Manhattans, of course. She ordered sausages, as any true Austrian woman would. Delicious, thick, juicy sausages, which she ate with her hands. I used my fork simply as a matter of defense, though it was of no use. I was aware we were seated in the middle of the room and all eyes, regardless of gender, were on her. I watched her too, with what? Desire? Lust? Fascination? Does it matter? All I can remember was the slow-motion sensation of watching her lick the juice from the tips of perfectly formed tendrils (merely fingers on most humans).

I felt the genie spring from the bottle. It was one of those moments you live for.

"Come with me," she said.

Helplessly, I acquiesced.

Soon we were in another part of town to see a show featuring performers who were friends of hers. As we walked in the door she was greeted by numerous people and I understood what Arthur Miller felt when he entered a room with Marilyn. There's no place for you. You don't exist- you are merely there, sucking up space where a well-wisher would like to be- to get closer to her. The fact that you are there with her doesn't even register because she's already taken up all of existing space in the room just by her presence alone. It's an ineluctable truth.

Then the party girl came out (I've learned it doesn't take much)- she lives for a good time and loves to entertain people. The show was pretty damn funny and included a pudgy, naked man dancing onstage holding a tissue over his genitals. She acted as if it were the kind of thing one sees everyday. After it ended, we wound up at Martuni's and somehow the hour passed midnight and then the cast of "Hair" came in and took the place over. Before taking my leave of her, we agreed to meet again and I watched her watching me as the train pulled away from the platform. I would think of the look on her face at that moment for days afterward.

The next morning I awoke exhausted and elated. She had told me about being on "America's Got Talent" as the Yodeling Dominatrix and of her day-to-day experiences working with companies like Cirque du Soleil and Teatro ZinZanni. It was illuminating and more. She has such a unique presence- intimidating and mysterious because of her looks and height, but completely open and unpretentious. She's a pussycat, truth be told, and she likes to purr.

A week later she arrived at my apartment early in the evening in white pants, black turtleneck, a short, white jacket trimmed in faux fur, fivefinger shoes, an eight-inch-wide leather belt, a jaunty black cap over her long blonde hair... and a black, well-oiled, hand-tooled whip. She had been eating oysters all day in Tomales Bay. I had prepared a pot roast and bought some Italian wine. Once again, the gaping disparity opened up before me.

I wanted to know where the Dominatrix came from. How did a mother of two, well-versed in the nuances and history of traditional yodeling, learned from her father as a child, end up dressed in pleather, expertly wielding a whip? Somewhere beneath the surface there was a different truth, and I wanted to uncover it. It turned out to be simpler than what I constructed in my imagination, yet layered with textures from a surprising array of life experiences.

Her physical stature impacted her career in unintended ways. Sure, she would love to be cast as Juliet, but a stage director once told her, "We can't hire you- where are we going to find an entire cast over six feet tall? Romeo would have to be almost seven feet!" Instead of fighting it, she's made it work for her by creating her own cast of characters. The Yodeling Dominatrix is just one facet of who she is- as is the Oktoberfest girl, and there are more- Roxie the gangster moll, a sexy milkmaid named Gretchen, the stern Fräulein Brunhilde von Schmetterling. She's a singer. A comedienne. An entertainer first and foremost. And she lives for it.

She also admits to relishing the control she has over people when she's dress to thrill. The power of the role intrigues her and its pull is strong. There was a man in Seattle in who came repeatedly to see her in a show and each time he'd ask for her crop across his behind, always requesting it land harder than the last time. The dominatrix persona creates an invisible but palpable psychological boundary between her and the audience.  That so many wish to cross it is something she ponders often, causing her to want to understand the triggers of desire she pulls in people.

But there's also a playfulness to the masquerade. Take a look at this video on YouTube called Parenting 101 with the Yodeling Dominatrix - instructions and helpful hints for parents to "train your kid like you train your dog."

Manuela  told me about Mr. Big, a fearless 3'2" dwarf she works with, whom she met at an erotic fair. Sometimes she dresses him up in drag. I flashed back to 1987, when I was working as a DJ in a North Hollywood strip joint, and Herve Villechaize used to come in frequently to take home one of the dancers- a six-foot-tall heavy metal queen named Jana whose hair added six additional inches to her height. He'd come over to the booth, say hello, and then pull out a gun- his most recent purchase, usually. They were always ridiculously large handguns. Watching them leave together always made me smile, knowing the gun would be brandished again before the night was over.

I asked her to tell me more about the erotic fair, deciding Herve and the strip joint were best left undiscussed, and she did. Somehow I knew we shouldn't linger too long on this topic, but I kept asking her for more details, which she gave. I found her forthrightness disarming. Nothing was off the table with her. She appreciates burlesque, erotic art, and painting naked bodies. This was a tangent I could have stayed on forever, but I also knew I could end up chained to it, so we moved on eventually, though not before I had some interesting images set in my mind.

We talked about music. I have this fantasy of her incorporating Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" into her act. She wants to be on David Letterman and the idea of Paul Schaffer leading the band through the classic riff as Manuela towers over Letterman is almost too delicious to contemplate. I can hear her yodeling in the part where the guitar slides downward after "wanna whole lotta love.... yodel-lay-hee-huuuuuu, wanna whole lotta love... yodel-lay-hee-huu." I see it as the first step in her inevitable path to world domination- "... you... need... me... BAM. BAM... whoaaa, yodel-lay-hee-huu!!!"

She's committed to furthering her career as a singer and has a recording studio in her Seattle home. After her current appearance in Teatro ZinZanni's "On the Air" closes, she'll resume work on an album of  covers including "Highway to Hell," "Tainted Love" and "Like a Virgin"- all with yodeling of course. She also wants to move toward rock, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the Zeppelin cover will get made one day.

Manuela also performs in her own shows, where she incorporates a variety of her characters. Next she year she'll take her act on the road, hitting festivals and rock concerts in her "Rock and Yodel Show", bringing the party with her, and encouraging audiences to "Get your yodel on..." She loves to see people having a good time and she feeds off of the audience's energy.

There's a joyful exuberance in everything Manuela does. She can walk into any room and own it without an effort. But underneath the raven-haired dominatrix in her pleather dress exists a thoughtful, inquisitive blonde who speaks in a soft voice with a lilting German accent. This is the woman who really entertains the audience- who knows that life's not always a party and that's the very best reason to have one.

She can't see herself ever retiring. Instead, she wants to die onstage- to take a final bow and then expire on the spot- in about 70 years. She imagines she'll be naked, with her costume projected onto her. I hope to be there that night, in the front row of the audience.

Manuela will be performing with Teatro ZinZanni in the company's terrific On the Air-   their last production before the Speigeltent comes down and relocates to Broadway and the Embarcadero sometime next year. The final show is New Year's Eve, leaving you plenty of time to hear her yodel (and get a spanking should you desire one).

While it's best to experience Manuela live and in the flesh, if you're too timid to seek her out in person, you can find her here:
Manuela Horn.com
Facebook
My Space
YouTube

On the Air: Teatro ZinZanni going out with a bang

Cast of On The Air : Bottom row, left to right: Mat Plendl, Duffy Bishop, Kristin Clayton, Geoff Hoyle.
Middle row, left to right: Christopher Phi, Bernard Hazens, Manuela Horn, Wayne Doba, Andrea Conway-Doba Top: Elena Gatilova Photo Credit: Mark Kitaoka

 It's Teatro ZinZanni's last stand at Pier 29 and they're going out with a sexy, delightful romp called "On the Air," which features some of the best performers I've seen inside the tent. The original press materials mentioned a plot about a radio station getting the boot and the crew putting on a defiant final show before the powers-that-be turned everyone out in the street (reflecting, um, reality), but somewhere along the way that story line was jettisoned in favor of three hours of non-stop entertainment, ZinZanni-style. It works on every level.

Duffy Bishop 
Photo Credit: Mark Kitaoka 

The evening begins with very funny man Geoff Hoyle as "Red Bottoms," dropping one-liners they way they used to, complete with violin in hand. Hoyle, a veteran of Broadway and well-known among Bay Area audiences, has flawless comedic timing and delights as a few different characters (as does everyone in the show). Blues belter Duffy Bishop is also in the cast. A ZinZanni veteran who has recorded eight albums and performed with John Lee Hooker and Bo Diddley, she brings some serious musical chops to the show, as does the remarkable soprano Kristin Clayton, who performs a memorable version "Quando men Vo" from La Boheme toward the end of the evening.

Geoff Hoyle 
Photo Credit: Tracy Martin 

Then there's Manuela Horn, who just may be the sexiest woman alive. The 6' 2" Austrian Amazon is not only funny, but when you see her wickedly wielding a riding crop in her black patent leather dress, matching boots with 8" heels, red leather bra bursting with Alpine cleavage, and Bettie Page 'do, well, let's just say it's time to submit- and the entire audience did, none more willingly than I.

Manuela Horn
Photo Credit: Mark Kitaoka 

But ZinZanni is about the circus acts as much as the music, and "On the Air" goes all out on this one. Christopher Phi's hand balancing act seemingly defies what the human body is capable of, and the same can be said of Elena Gatilova's jaw-dropping Circeaux Act, which is performed in an extremely sexy, provocative costume. You can't take your eyes off either of them. Bernard Hazen's Rola Bola routine incorporates juggling and acrobatics and is another delight, as is Mat Plendle's stunning display of what one can do with Hula Hoops.

Christopher Phi, Elena Gatilova, Bernard Hazens Photo Credit: Mark Kitaoka

Andrea Conway and her husband Wayne Doba are also on hand. Conway's a seriously talented artist who has enlivened every ZinZanni show I've seen her in with her goofy charm and impressive physical talents. The duo perform a superb and funny tap dancing act.

Andrea Conway-Doba and Wayne Doba   Photo Credit: Mark Kitaoka 

I won't mention the songs performed during the show because they come up unexpectedly and part of the fun is really having no idea what's coming next, but "On the Air" goes from Shirley Temple to Jimi Hendrix, with a hysterical visit to the Carpenters along the way.

Did I mention how sexy Manuela Horn is?

The five course dinner was delicious and delivered with perfect timing throughout the show.

This is the last chance to see ZinZanni for what may be awhile. After 11 years, 40 different productions, and entertaining over 800,000 people, they're being forced to strike the beautiful Spiegeltent to make way for the America's Cup takeover of the Embarcadero. The non-profit circus is working with the City to find another location (there's a rumor floating around about the corner of Broadway and the Embarcadero), but nothing's confirmed, so check out "On the Air" while you can- the tent comes down after New Year's Eve. 

Strike the Spiegeltent- Teatro ZinZanni to close

Inside the Spiegeltent

Sadly, word went out today that after more than eleven years, 800,000 visitors, hundreds of guest artists and 40 different shows, Teatro ZinZanni will shutter the fabled Palais Nostalgique Spiegeltent on Pier 29 after its 2011 New Year’s Eve show. 


Teatro’s current home on Piers 27 and 29 is scheduled to be a part of the upcoming America’s Cup and the Bay Area treasure is working closely with the City to locate a new permanent home. Longtime Bay Area comedian and clown Geoff Hoyle (a veteran of Pickle Family Circus, Cirque du Soleil, A.C.T. and Berkeley Rep to name a few) and blues singer Duffy Bishop, a Teatro ZinZanni favorite since 1999 who has released eight albums in addition to performing with various legends such as Bo Diddley, John Lee Hooker, Lou Rawls and Ruth Brown, will headline the final (and brand new) production, On the Air, accompanied by an acclaimed international cast beginning October 13 and closing December 31, 2011. In a storyline that echoes Teatro ZinZanni’s own struggles to remain in San Francisco, the plot revolves around the struggle to keep a local radio station on the air.


The other performers are also heavyweights I've seen in previous ZinZanni productions, which makes this final run all the more alluring. Joining the cast of On The Air is Bernard Hazens who has been thrilling Teatro ZinZanni crowds for the past four years with his one of a kind act, a dynamically choreographed combination of acrobatics, juggling and Rola Bola; Danielle Rueda-Watts, an aerial silk artist featured in the hit movie musical Chicago and the documentary of Michael Jackson’s final tour This Is It; Wayne Doba, hailed by Donald O’Connor as a “throwback to the old Vaudeville days” and Cirque du Soleil veteran Andrea Conway Doba with her physical comedy and acrobatic mischief; resident opera diva Kristin Clayton, a graduate of the prestigious San Francisco Opera Adler Fellow Program and well known for her performances of contemporary works by composer such as Conrad Susa, Jake Heggie and Peter Ash; Manuela Horn, otherwise known as the Austrian Amazon, a yodeling, dancing, acting comedic force of nature; Christopher Phi, a San Francisco native and graduate of the prestigious Notre Dame de Namur University, who showcases his handbalancing and aerial artistry; and multi-media performance artist Mat Plendl, who brings his own form of magic to the tent in the form of a hula-hoop.

Danielle Rueda-Watts: Photo by Michael Doucett

 “We are proud to trace our lineage back to the very beginnings of theater in San Francisco,” said Norm Langill, Teatro ZinZanni’s President and Artistic Director.  “From the Rowe Circus to the National Theater to the Tivoli Opera House founded during the Gold Rush, Teatro ZinZanni is one in a long line of high spirited San Francisco theatrical experiences combining the arts of vaudeville, cabaret, cirque and opera with great food and strong drink– a winning combination if ever there was on." Amen to that. This is a significant loss for San Francisco and one can only hope the City comes up with a plan to relocate the troupe. 

Norm Langill: Photo by Drew Altizer

Langill continued:"Showbiz is unpredictable, but we can celebrate an amazing eleven year run on Pier 27 and 29. I’m constantly humbled by the enthusiasm of our audiences, the talent of our performers and staff and the support from the City of San Francisco. Working together with city leaders, we are determined to find a permanent home in San Francisco– for Teatro ZinZanni is now part of the terrific fabric of cultural institutions that give this city  its unparalleled reputation for arts and culture. Our show mirrors the spirit of this city – a magical place that embraces silliness, frivolity, fun, intimacy and self expression. We’ll be back. This is home.”


There will be an "Americana” menu to complement the theme of the performances.  Understandably, ticket demand will be high for these final shows so do yourself a favor and get yours now by phone at 415/438-2668 or online at http://love.zinzanni.org. If you've seen ZinZanni before, you know you won't want to miss what may be their swan song. If you haven't seen this incredibly entertaining and talented company before, just go before it's too late.




NB: some of the copy in this post was pulled and reworded by me from a press release ZinZanni sent to me, but I wouldn't print it if I didn't think it to be true- J.M.

Maestro's Enchantment

Joan Baez and Voronin

My mother and I arrived early to see Teatro ZinZanni's latest incarnation, "Maestro's Enchantment." Too early actually, for the Spiegeltent hadn't even opened. Instead of waiting, we decided to walk down the Embarcadero for a drink at the place formerly known as Houston's, the current name of which I can never recall. Hillstone, perhaps. I used to frequent no-longer-Houston's with friends, but during the past couple of years it fell off my radar as that circle splintered and later it seemed that whenever I went there with just one person the night always ended poorly. Perhaps it sets off some strange metaphysical reaction in me when I walk through the door leading to ineluctable drama triggered by the smell of burning wood and roasting pork chops, which then combusts once the third Manhattan is served. The drinks there have always been excellent and still are.

The Reverend Brown once had an unforgettable birthday dinner there. I brought the woman from New Orleans with me and was surprised to see the Southern Belle arrive 10 minutes later for I'd only brought a date because I was under the impression the Belle wasn't coming (though it had been at least a year since we parted ways). Needless to say, the introductions were uncomfortable and we ended up sitting at opposite ends of the huge horseshoe-shaped booth, with the Belle seated next to my mother (naturally) on one side, the woman and I on the other.

Seated next to us were the General and his own Femme Fatale- whom I'll call Natasha- with the Elder Swede next to them. The Swede was in rare form that night, interrogating the General and Natasha about their most intimate relations, or lack of, fueling the already-present tension to the point where it finally erupted all over the table, which only encouraged him to further extremes. The Swede loves to provoke and beyond the pale is his natural starting point. I thought it was going to come to blows, but it didn't because while the General was obviously angry, he managed to maintain his temper if not quite his decorum. The two of them, both close friends, have never been at the same table since. Natasha eventually disappeared from the scene, as did the woman from New Orleans. As a group we have never returned and now that I think about it I can trace the beginning of the place as a site for ineluctable drama to that very night. GG and Penelope- I'm sorry, I hadn't realized the place is haunted.

And so it was on this night as well, as my mother and I sat at the bar having a conversation which led to an underlying tension lasting between us through the evening, and it was a long one. We made our way back to the Spiegeltent where we met some interesting people at the bar, chatted for a bit, then took our seats at a table where some lovely people whose interests and vocations are musical were already seated. The lights went down and the three hour show began.

I took my mother to see this because I knew she'd enjoy seeing Joan Baez perform. As Baez strode to the center of the tent, with a lone spotlight upon her, and began to sing, I watched her in profile, marvelling at her presence and grace. Her voice was slightly rough, but it added an air of mystery to her role as Madame ZinZanni, the lover of the Maestro (master magician Voronin) of the title.

Unlike the last two TZ productions I've seen (Caliente and A License to Kiss), both exuberant romps, Maestro's Enchantment has a dark tone around the edges, despite the presence of the circus acts, comedy routines (led by former Ringling Brothers clown Peter Pitofsky), an extremely talented contortionist (Svetlana), and a tremendous opera singer (Kristin Clayton). The cast also includes the gold medalist acrobat Bianca Sapetto, comedic trapeze artists The Collins Brothers, the juggler Sergiy Krutikov and magician Brandon Rabe. As usual with Teatro ZinZanni, the talent in the tent is formidable and of the highest caliber- it's amazing what these performers can do. I suspect the darker tone may have something to do with the Russian influence of the cast, but perhaps that's because I've read too much Russian literature (if such a thing is actually possible) and I listen to too much Rachmaninoff and Shostakovitch.

Despite the presence of Baez, the show is clearly Voronin's. A veteran of more than 20 ZinZanni productions, he owns the stage with his incredible magic tricks and mysterious persona. He and Baez have an alluring chemistry between them which hints at a brooding, dark romance. It will be interesting to see how that chemistry between the characters changes once Melanie Stace takes over the role in August. The show continues through Oct. 9th. For tickets call ZinZanni at 415 328 2668 or go their website.

As for my mother and me, when we exited the tent and searched for a cab, a sense of exhaustion settled in between us. She has her concerns, I have mine, and some of them overlap with neither of us quite sure what looms ahead. But she's a good date.

All photos by Mark Kitaoka

Teatro ZinZanni's Caliente!

Photo by Mark Kitaoka

Last week I caught Caliente!, the current show happening at Teatro Zinzanni's beautiful spiegeltent on the Embarcadero which runs through June 19th. I half-suspected this show would be similar their last, License to Kiss, which I thoroughly enjoyed, so imagine my surprise to find out the new show is a completely different beast altogether, though equally full of pleasures.

Caliente!'s story has some nice ironies in that the story is about everyone in a restaurant kitchen being fired when a new corporate boss takes over the business. The parallels to ZinZanni's looming eviction from their current location due to the deal which brings the America's Cup race to San Francisco are present throughout. The kitchen staff decides to put on one last show in an act of defiance and solidarity.

In a nod to reality, the kitchen staff is largely Hispanic (hence the show's title) and the evening is guided by two great leads- Robert Lopez (aka El Vez) and Christine Deaver who aspire to be the Latino Donnie and Marie. There's some funny shtick to all of this, but what really impresses about Caliente! is the extraordinary talents of this particular cast who have physical skills that are simply stunning.

Caliente! truly becomes hot when the vivacious Ukrainian Vita Radionova does an act with Hula Hoops that really has to be seen to believed. I'm not going to say more than that because I despise spoilers, but I was floored by this. It turned out that the show was just getting warmed up (it's a three-hour show). Radionova later returned with Mickael Bajazet to perform one of the most intense, gymnastic-laden salsa dances I've ever seen that burned the floor.

Bajazet is a member of Les Petits Freres, an acrobatic troupe formed in 1993 whose three members are also in the show. Gregory Marquet and Domitil Aillot are the other two components of this jaw-droppingly talented ensemble, who do things I wouldn't have thought possible. What can Marquet can do on a tent pole will simply astound you. On top of their physical skills, these three are adept slapstick comedians. They could easily lead a show of their own- the fact that they're just one component of Caliente! makes it that much stronger.

Ling Rui plays the heartless corporate lackey as all ice and no heart, until near the end of the show he displays a talent that is as impressive as the Freres. A circus performer since the age of 10, with a CV including a stint with Cirque du Soleil, his aerial acrobatics are amazing.

Also on hand is malambo performer Ann Bernard- another Cirque du Soleil alumnae. This was my first exposure to the Argentine art from and I was greatly impressed with Bernard's talents.

Rounding out the cast is Rebekah Del Rio, whose acapella performance of "Llorando" (a Spanish version of Roy Orbison's "Crying") was simply stunning. Del Rio has a voice like Linda Ronstadt's and anyone whose appreciated Ronstadt's Spanish-language recordings will have a new singer to discover. If her name sounds familiar, she was in David Lynch's Mulholland Drive.

Through it all there's Deaver and Lopez guiding it all with skill and superb comedic timing, roping in unsuspecting audience-members (who on this night turned out to be incredibly talented to the extent Penelope thought one must have been a plant, but he wasn't) and mange to make the free-for-all seem spontaneous yet clearly focused.

If you're a local and think ZinZanni is largely for tourists ala Beach Blanket Babylon, think again. This is an incredibly talented company and the current version of the show kicks culo. Discounted tickets can often be found on Goldstar. It's a thoroughly great evening- check it out.

Here's some additional information (repeated from the License to Kiss post, but I think it's worth repeating): Over the past decade, TZ has welcomed more than 1,000,000 guests into the tent. In addition to the regular performances, they have helped organizations raise more than $2,000,000 for charitable causes by providing the tent and services at cost. Organizations who have hosted fundraisers include Sean Penn’s Haitian Relief Organization, Huckleberry House, Bread and Roses, Suicide Prevention League, Chez Panisse Foundation, San Francisco Symphony, and more. This is over and above the thousands of tickets they have donated to countless silent and live auctions, etc. It's not only a great theater company, but like many of the best arts organizations in San Francisco, this is a non-profit arts institution.


In addition to a series of incoming international performers, there is a core group of “performers” who serve as managers, maitre ‘d’s, box office, bartenders, wait staff, etc. Many of these employees joined the Company for what they thought was a temporary job in March of 2000. Ten years later they are a real family – so losing Teatro would be so much more than just losing the show – it would break up this incredible family of employees committed to creating the zany world of ZinZanni through service, or cooking, etc. Anyway, it would be a shame to lose these arts and service jobs in service of….creating jobs and revenue for America’s Cup and billionaire Larry Ellison. The news on the move is this: the city is working closely with Teatro ZinZanni to explore all options and have also been in touch with America’s Cup Organizers to explore any natural tie-ins. The City seems committed to keeping ZinZanni in San Francisco.

Marcher and Mom go to Teatro ZinZanni

I spent last Sunday night in a tent with my mother to celebrate her birthday. It wasn't just any old tent, but this gorgeous, antique “spiegeltent,"- the grandeur and charm of it can't be envisioned from its outside appearance. Once inside, we had well-made cocktails at the bar- that's right, the tent has a bar in it, which is lovely of course. After we had our drinks we were ushered into another tent, with a large performance space in the center of it surrounded by round tables, at which hundreds of people were already busily having fun amongst themselves. We were seated next to a delightful couple, and were soon joined by another.

More drinks arrived and then my mother pulled a bottle of Raffanelli ZinZanni from her purse, since it was her birthday. And then all hell broke loose. Well, not really. What actually followed was three-plus hours of some of the best entertainment I've experienced in years and a fantastic five course meal. I don't remember the last time I've laughed that much and just plain enjoyed a show as much as I did this one.

So why hadn't I ever gone to Teatro ZinZanni before? Oh, this reason and that to be sure, but I also had it in my head it would be a touristy thing- kind of like Beach Blanket Babylon, which I always enjoy when I go, but BBB is not a show I really think about seeing unless someone asks me (usually my mother) - which seems to happen once every year or two.

Now if you had told me to imagine the love child of BBB and Trannyshack raised by Kurt Weill and PT Barnum I would have immediately said "Yes! When do we go!?" But no one ever told me it was like that so I never went. Now I'm telling you, so you have no excuse not to go see it.

Again, it was my mother who wanted to go see Teatro Zinzanni. She's been asking me for years and now I feel that certain pang of the Jewish son's guilt that I waited so long to make this happen. We''ll be back though- guaranteed. And the next time it will be me asking her if she wants to go.



The current version of the show, which runs through March 4th, is called License to Kiss II, A Sweet Conspiracy. Why? I honestly don't remember and to tell the truth it really doesn't matter. The plot, which has to do with creating the perfect sweet, is really just the frame for three hours of hilarious gags, well-performed songs, acrobatics, drag, cabaret, dancing, and live music. During the evening a delicious meal is served that's choreographed to the show and delivered by the cast with stunning execution.



Kristen Clayton



Kevin Kent



And the cast is terrific. The uproariously delightful Kevin Kent is the star, but there's tremendous talent throughout the show: aerialist Kari Podgorsky, acrobat Andrea Conway Doba was a huge hit, as was Wayne Doba. Lutz Jope was a vision of Rocky Horror's Riff Raff all these years (and bottles) later. Sweden's Tobias Larsson, as the closest thing to the show's ringmaster, has a serious Adam Lambert kind of thing going on (and that's a good thing, in case you were wondering). My favorite though, was soprano Kristen Clayton, who's appeared with numerous opera companies. She came out toward the end of the evening and just floored me.



After March 4th, a new show will arrive, and if you can't make it to this one I strongly recommend you catch the next. This is a great show for locals and tourists alike- the local lady sitting next us to was there for her third time and I overheard numerous people make similar comments as we were at the bar.



There are often tickets available on Goldstar.



One last thing. Recently it was learned the company is likely to be displaced by the whole America's Cup giveaway/boondoggle. So I wanted to give you some inside information you may not know. Over the past decade, TZ has welcomed more than 1,000,000 guests into the tent.  In addition to the regular performances, they have helped organizations raise more than $2,000,000 for charitable causes by providing the tent and services at cost.  Organizations who have hosted fundraisers include Sean Penn’s Haitian Relief Organization, Huckleberry House, Bread and Roses, Suicide Prevention League, Chez Panisse Foundation, San Francisco Symphony, and more. This is over and above the thousands of tickets they have donated to countless silent and live auctions, etc.  It's not only a great theater company, but like many of the best arts organizations in San Francisco, this is a non-profit arts institution.

In addition to a series of incoming international performers, there is a core group of “performers” who serve as managers, maitre ‘d’s, box office, bartenders, wait staff, etc. Many of these employees joined the Company for what they thought was a temporary job in March of 2000. Ten years later they are a real family – so losing Teatro would be so much more than just losing the show – it would break up this incredible family of employees committed to creating the zany world of ZinZanni through service, or cooking, etc. Anyway, it would be a shame to lose these arts and service jobs in service of….creating jobs and revenue for America’s Cup and billionaire Larry Ellison.  The news on the move is this: the city is working closely with Teatro ZinZanni to explore all options and have also been in touch with America’s Cup Organizers to explore any natural tie-ins. The City seems committed to keeping ZinZanni in San Francisco.

Let's hope they do just that.

Marcher and his Mom